Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
