Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize