i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
