Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
