No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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