i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
