god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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