I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
