Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
3pm strippers are depressing
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize