come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
