There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Two words: nipple clamps
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