party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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