When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize