so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
