I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
