Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
