he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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