this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
