Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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