think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
