the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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