I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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