i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
