Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
