dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
