i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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