I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My pussy is not your playground.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
