You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
