He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
