...so i touched it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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