I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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