I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
