it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
