just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
