I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
