jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
