so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
