No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
