What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
