My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I want a musical about memes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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