My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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