Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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