1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
