I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
