I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
