who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
