Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
