Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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