it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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