I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
