Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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