one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize