So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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