I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
