yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
