Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
