went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
