My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
