Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
